Surrender and Scholarship

In 2005, when I made a decision to surrender everything and follow Jesus, one of the hardest things to give up was my children’s education. Growing up, education was highly emphasized and valued in my family. The women on my mother and father’s family all graduated from Ewha Women’s University—the most prestigious women’s university in Korea. Many uncles, aunts, and cousins all have advanced degrees. There was a lot of pressure for me to get a doctorate degree—that was the ultimate indication of success. Until God healed me, my identity was based on my education and my accomplishments and not on my identity as a child of God. Anyways, that’s another story for another day.

During our DTS training through YWAM in 2005, someone asked me this question, “How do you know God wants your children to go to college?” What?!!! Isn’t it God’s will for all Asians to go to college? College was a given in our family! My children were all going to college even if they didn't want to. I never imagined my children NOT going to college. This was one area that I could not surrender easily (Actually, everything I have to surrender is difficult.) However, God has been working in my life, and I have been able to slowly lay down this area. In order to help me to surrender in this area, God gave me a child whose passion and interests were not academics! He had a unique learning style which prevented him from being the best that he could be in a regular school setting. So we homeschooled him, but we couldn’t figure out what his passion or interests were. After years of lessons in 3 instruments, 3 sports, and art, Elijah found an interest in tennis when he was 14 ½. But tennis, really?! What kind of future do you have with tennis, especially with such a late start? Most kids start playing tennis at 6 or 7.

During this time of doubting, God spoke to me twice and said, “He is my son, and I love him. I am going to mold him and train him through tennis.” It was not an audible voice, but it was the clearest He has spoken in my spirit. I slowly started to trust God and gave God my desires for Elijah. At that time, I could not have imagined what He had in stored for my oldest son. Tennis is an expensive sport. During the last 4 years, when we didn’t’ have the funds (because God was training us to surrender our finances to Him too), He provided miraculously what we needed to pay for the tennis lessons. He sometimes provided coaches that coached him for free. Sometimes He provided scholarships. It has been an exciting journey to see God working in such a detailed fashion.

Elijah worked very hard to improve his tennis, and he had a desire to play college tennis. That was his goal. We didn’t think it would be possible because he started so late. However, God provided everything He needed for him to train. All that God asked of us was that we train Elijah’s heart to love Him and to know Him so that Elijah can trust and obey Him. This year, several coaches contacted Elijah and offered him to come out for official visits (the coaches pay for airfare and housing). We were really amazed at these offers.

The coach from Wheaton offered him an official visit. Elijah really liked Wheaton and wanted to go there, but they don’t offer athletic scholarships because they are a D3 school. However, from our experience, we know that God ALWAYS provides the finances if it is His will and if we obey Him. We told Elijah to ask God if Wheaton was where God wanted him to go, and if it was, then God would provide the $40,000 needed to attend the school. We started to ask God too. Right after his visit to Wheaton, he was offered an official visit to Cornerstone University. Elijah was reluctant to visit Cornerstone because it was not a school that was on top of his list. It was actually not on his list at all. However, the coach offered him a 100% tuition scholarship, so I told him to visit just to see. I knew if he didn’t like the school, then it was not the school for him regardless of how much scholarship he was being offered. He went for a visit. He liked the school. He liked the teammates. He liked the coach too. We liked the coach too. He is a man of prayer. We were surprised that he prayed for Elijah. Elijah had visited several Christian schools, but none of the coaches had prayed for him. The coach made an impact on us. We felt he could be someone that could mentor Elijah. We sensed this was the school God was leading Elijah to.

When I look back at how God has worked out all the little details in the past 4 years for Elijah, I am in awe. I can’t even understand it sometimes. I try to think about all the details that were involved in getting Elijah to this point, and it really boggles my mind. I was so scared to surrender a college experience for my son, but when I did, He gave back lavishly. He not only is providing an opportunity for Elijah to go to college, but He is providing the funds to do it too. What a classy God! The journey of surrendering and letting go has not always been easy, but God was with me every step of the way, guiding me in His most gentle way. I am humbled that a magnificent God cares so much for me and my family. What more can I say about my Amazing Father?!